Our most primal reactions are our feelings. They develop first. In fact, the emotional part of the brain develops years before the thinking part. So children first experience the world through feelings which then move them to act.  They also often act impulsively due their still-developing brains and undeveloped self-regulation skills. They feel and then act almost seamlessly—without much thinking in between. This is what makes emotional skills of prime importance in early childhood.

Unfortunately, adults have a tendency to suppress, invalidate or dismiss children’s feelings. This is problematic because suppression, invalidation and dismissal don’t make feelings go away. In fact, they only make them stronger. Sooner or later, these feelings inevitably bubble over and express themselves in the form of misbehavior. And children’s suppressed, invalidated or dismissed feelings can manifest in ways that can be destructive to themselves and others.

Emotional Skills Develop Self-Awareness

Research has shown that children are less likely to misbehave when they are self-aware. Self-awareness is knowing how they are feeling, naming their feelings, and receiving validation for feeling the way that they do.  When children are trained to be self-aware, the thinking part of the child’s brain is activated and involved.

Simply training children to recognize how they feel and validating that their feelings are normal allow them to develop keen emotional skills. Emotional skills training effectively merges the thinking and feeling parts of the brain together. This first step is a crucial building block towards self-regulation and self-control.

Self-awareness Promotes Self-Regulation and Self-Control

Self-regulation is built on the development of self-awareness. When children recognize their emotions, they become self-aware. When they are self-aware, they can recognize how they feel and connect this to how they act. And when they make this connection, they begin to realize that they have a choice and can control how they act.

This is how self-regulation works. When children are aware of their feelings, they can use the thinking part of their brain to control their responses and take the time to choose how they will act—instead of react.

Conclusion

While many parents emphasize academic skills, developing emotional skills are arguably of equal importance in early childhood. They are the bridge to self-awareness, self-regulation and ultimately, self-control.

Well-prepared for life indeed!

Take good, kind care of yourself and your family,